Before I had children, you were my everything. I looked forward to my lips meeting you each morning. What flavor would I choose today? It was a sweet surprise every day. I basked in the caffeinated glow you provided me as I sipped your deliciousness at my desk at work. When you started to give me that mid-morning empty-stomach ache, I didn't mind. It just meant you had done your job of filling my veins with much needed alertness.
And then I got pregnant. You became wholly undesirable to my palate. I stopped spending each morning with you. I couldn't even stomach the thought of drinking you.
But when baby came, it all changed. I began to miss your warmth, your sweetness, your pick-me-up. However, after reading about concerns that caffeine might impact baby while breastfeeding (for example, caffeine in breast milk keeping my little one awake when I wanted her to sleep) I chose not to reignite our passion-filled relationship quite yet.
It wasn't you, it was me.
Still, I yearned for you. Especially on those mornings when I'd gotten maybe 2 straight hours of sleep, perhaps 6 cumulative hours. But I told myself I would have to live without you until my baby slept through the night. And so I did.
Then one day, I decided it was time. I knew having one cup of your hot decadence would not have an impact on napping or bedtime. I also knew it would be a quality of life improvement for me.
So Coffee, now that we are back together, I must tell you that I don't regret our time apart. But boy am I glad we've reconciled.